Domestic Violence: What to Do If It Happens to You
Domestic violence does not always leave visible marks.
Many times it happens silently, inside the home, and affects partners, children, adolescents, older adults, and caregivers.
In Massachusetts, more than 1 in 3 women and more than 1 in 4 men have experienced physical or sexual violence or stalking by an intimate partner.
In addition, domestic violence accounts for nearly 15% of all reported violent crimes in Massachusetts.
Violence in Massachusetts: Alarming Data
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in homicides related to domestic violence, with an average of nearly 18 cases per year, most of them involving women.
National studies show that every year millions of children in the United States are exposed to family violence.
In most of these cases, the abuse or neglect comes directly from their caregivers or parents.
Likewise, abuse of older adults within the home is more common than officially reported.
Approximately 1 in 10 older adults suffers some form of family abuse.
In nearly half of those cases, the abuse is perpetrated by family members, including adult children or intimate partners.
Faced with this reality, education is prevention.
We invite you to watch the full video of this interview on La Mega Lawrence, where Dr. Maria Ferreras-Mendez, PhD, LMHC – CEO/Founder of Ferreras Counseling LLC, based in Massachusetts, explains these warning signs in greater depth using real-life examples.
What Is Considered Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence occurs when one person exercises power and control over another within a family or household environment.
It does not only happen between spouses or romantic partners. It can occur:
- Between a partner or former partner
- From parents to children
- From children to parents
- Between caregivers and older adults
- Within any family or cohabiting relationship
“A man who truly loves you will take care of you. Love does not harm.”
— Dr. Ferreras
Most Common Types of Domestic Violen
- Emotional violence: humiliation, control, isolation
- Psychological violence: manipulation, threats, constant fear
- Verbal violence: insults, yelling, demeaning language
- Financial violence: controlling money, preventing someone from working
- Physical violence: pushing, hitting, physical assault
“When you are with someone, you should feel peace.”
— Dr. Ferreras
Domestic Violence and Mental Health
Dr. Ferreras explains that many cases are linked to untreated mental health conditions, alcohol or substance use, or unresolved trauma.
“Mental health does not heal by denying it. The more it is hidden, the worse it becomes.”
Violence affects not only the person who experiences it, but the entire family—especially children who grow up normalizing these behaviors.
How to Leave a Domestic Violence Situation (Clear Steps)
Leaving a violent situation is not easy, and there is no single path, but there are steps that can help protect your safety and well-being.
Many organizations recommend the following guidance:
1. Recognize That You Are Not Alone
Acknowledging that what you are experiencing is violence is a brave and necessary step.
Many people normalize abuse because they were told “that’s just how relationships are,” but that is neither love nor acceptable.
“When you are no longer yourself, something is not right.”
— Dr. Maria Ferreras
2. Seek Confidential Support Immediately
Even if you are not ready to leave the relationship, you can:
- Call a confidential, free helpline
- Talk to someone who will listen without judgment
- Ask for information about safety options
3. If You Are in Immediate Danger, Call 911
Your safety comes first.
If there is a physical threat, harm, or imminent danger, do not wait—call 911 immediately.
4. Create a Safety Plan
A safety plan may include:
- A list of emergency contacts
- Signals to alert a trusted person
- A bag with important documents and money
Organizations such as SafeLink and other support programs can help you develop a personalized safety plan.
5. Consider a Protection Order
In Massachusetts, you may request an Abuse Prevention Order (209A) or a Harassment Prevention Order (258E).
These orders are legal tools designed to protect you from an abuser, regardless of immigration status.
(Massachusetts Government)
Many courts and legal advocates can help you complete the forms and understand the process at no cost.
(Massachusetts Legal Help)
Massachusetts Resources for Comprehensive Support
Below is an expanded list of trusted resources you can contact based on your needs:
Helplines and Immediate Support
SafeLink – Massachusetts Statewide Domestic Violence Hotline
Multilingual, confidential, and available 24/7.
1-877-785-2020 (TTY: 1-877-521-2601)
National Domestic Violence Hotline
24/7 support in English and Spanish, with interpreters available.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
YWCA of Northeastern Massachusetts – Hotline and Support
Provides support and information as an entry point to shelter and services in the northeastern region of the state.
Shelters and Support Programs Across the State
- Alternative House – Lowell (24/7)
- Casa Myrna – Boston
- Elizabeth Stone House – Roxbury
- Second Step – Newton
- New Hope – Southern and Central Massachusetts
- YWCA of Western Massachusetts – Springfield
- DOVE – Quincy
(All of these programs provide support, shelter, and transitional services for survivors.)
HAWC – Help for Abused Women and Their Children (North Shore)
Free, confidential, and volunteer-based services, with a 24/7 hotline.
1-800-547-1649
Additional Resources
Elder Abuse Hotline
Older adults can also be victims of family abuse. This hotline provides guidance and support.
1-800-882-2003
Disabled Persons Protection Commission
Support for people with disabilities experiencing abuse or neglect.
1-800-426-9009
